Use collaborative problem solving

What the experts say:

Resilient families identify problems and the options available to deal with them and then make decisions as a team. Family members use creative brainstorming to discover new possibilities for meeting challenges. Ideas of all members are respected and valued. Resilient families focus on achievable goals and specific steps they can take to achieve those goals. Families build on their success as they pursue their goals. They learn from things that don’t work and try something else. Through this process, families learn skills that can help them be more prepared for future challenges. (Walsh, F. 2006 Strengthening Family Resilience. New York: The Guilford Press)

In other words:

Sometimes the financial challenges we face seem so big that we don’t know what to do. Having a family meeting is a good way to get everyone involved in a discussion about family financial health. Be honest with your children but don’t tell them more than they need to know. It’s best to stay with a brief explanation. Be careful not to overload them with worries that might scare them.

Solving problems as a family can help all family members recognize their value as a family member.  For example, if there is less income due to a cut in hours on the job, it’s okay to talk about this. You can then work together to think of options for the family. You might decide to borrow movies from the library instead of renting them in order to save money.  You might decide that you’re going to have a family night with pizza and games once a week instead of going out to eat. Small actions will help family members feel more in control and help relieve anxiety.

What you can do:

Make sure you are calm before you open any discussions with your family about money. You may want to rehearse what you’ll say and ease your own worries beforehand by talking with the other parent or a friend. Try to focus the discussion on how each member can be a helper in saving money. It might be helpful to make a list of ideas as they come up. One member might want to be the “coupon clipper” while others might identify rarely-used toys or clothing that could be sold in a garage sale. The family could agree to drink water from a pitcher in the refrigerator rather than buying expensive sports drinks or bottled water. You might also want to have regularly scheduled family meetings so you can talk about which ideas are working and which are not. This would be a chance to decide on other things that the family wants to do.

You can also read ideas on other parts of the “Managing Your Personal Finances In Tough Times” website, including the article found at the following link:

http://fyi.uwex.edu/toughtimes/talking-with-family-managing-stress/talking-with-your-family-about-financial-difficulties/